How To Create Your Own Sexual Fantasy
Sexual fantasy — How To Create Your Own
What is your sexual fantasy? Have you ever been asked that question by a partner? Or, have you ever watched a movie where couples talk about sexual fantasies? Do you have some specific sexual fantasies or have you been somewhat stumped by that question in the past? Well, this is the how-to for creating a sexual fantasy.
Make a list of your sexual turn-ons. Also, think of things that a partner does to get you to want to have sex. Include sexual situations as well, e.g. sex in public, quickies in the office, sex in a different part of the house. Don’t forget to include situations that are turn-ons that you may not necessarily do in real life. For example, maybe the thought of being watched by someone while you are having sex really turns you on, but you can’t imagine having that scenario play out in real life.
If you find that you are getting stuck, read some erotica to stimulate your imagination. Try reading The Erotic Edge or for something with more “dirty” words and straighter talk, try reading any of the books in the Penthouse collection. While you are reading, pay attention to what stories grab your attention over the others. Which stories feel more arousing to you? What is happening in these stories to make them more arousing? You can also watch pornography to stimulate your imagination. You may find yourself surprised or even upset by things that you find arousing. Remember this is an exercise in discovering our turn-ons. Many of us have situations or things that turn us on sexually that we would not want to actually experience. On the other hand, you may also read about different things or situations that you may want to try. For the more imaginative person, create and write down your story. Pick you players, the setting, what is happening, how it is happening, what people are wearing, etc. Just allow yourself to write. Don’t worry about grammar and wording. This fantasy is for you and maybe a partner.
For those who can easily develop and share a sexual fantasy with a partner try co-writing a fantasy with your partner and acting it out. To accomplish a joint fantasy both people will need to insert their sexual desires into the story.
Writing a story together can be challenging, you may need to take several days to accomplish it. Don’t worry if it’s not perfect. The point is to have fun together. The process of communicating about the sexual fantasy is just as important as the actual final product. And don’t forget to act out the fantasy. A shared erotic experience has a lot of potential.
So what if you try these exercises and then realize that the fantasies in real life don’t turn you on, or are just lukewarm experiences? It’s ok, because you and your partner developed a new way to explore your sexuality together. Each of you trusted the other person enough to share something personal. Sometimes a fantasy is much more of a turn on as a fantasy than it is acted out in real life.
Writing sexual fantasies can be a fun and very informative experience. It can be a great way to talk about sex with a partner and can add fuel to our sex lives.