How Should I Sell Myself On A First Date?

Written by: Alex Caroline Robboy, CAS, MSW, LCSW, Founder
Dating

Selling yourself on a first date is really about presenting the best, most genuine version of you—not putting on a show or overselling. The goal is to spark interest and connection, not to convince someone of your worth like in a job interview. Here’s a practical approach:

✅ 1. Lead With Confidence, Not Ego

  • Confidence = comfort with yourself. That’s attractive.

  • Be proud of your passions, but don’t dominate the conversation.

  • If you’re nervous, it’s okay—nerves can be humanizing.

🗣 Example: “I get really into [your hobby], and I’ve probably gone way too deep into it at this point.”

✅ 2. Share Your Story—But Keep It Balanced

  • Have a few engaging stories that show your humor, values, or ambition.

  • Avoid oversharing trauma or complaining—save the deeper layers for later dates.

🗣 “I moved here for work, but the city kind of grew on me. Still getting used to the pizza scene though.”

✅ 3. Ask Good Questions (and Actually Listen)

  • You sell yourself better by showing genuine interest in them.

  • Ask about their passions, travels, what lights them up—not just work.

🗣 “What’s something you could talk about for hours that most people don’t know about you?”

✅ 4. Use Humor (Even a Little Self-Deprecation)

  • Light teasing or poking fun at yourself makes you relatable and grounded.

  • Don’t try too hard to be funny—just be playful and natural.

🗣 “I tried cooking once. The smoke alarm still hasn’t forgiven me.”

✅ 5. Show (Not Tell) Your Values

  • Instead of saying “I’m ambitious,” talk about something you’re working on.

  • Instead of “I’m kind,” share a moment you helped someone out.

🗣 “I’ve been working on this side project lately—it’s chaotic but fun.”

❌ Avoid:

  • Bragging or overselling (humble confidence wins every time).

  • Talking only about yourself.

  • Talking too much about exes, money, or marriage plans on date one.