After so many years of a drought I have discovered my sexuality. For years I was ashamed of how I felt. I suppressed feelings and created a mental world of fantasies. Now my fantasies are trying to take over my life. I find myself in between lies, sex, videotapes-/ Now I am living a double life and I don’t like it. It feels like I’m cheating on myself. I want the ability to grow as one but I am afraid that my closest family and friends will silently judge me. I feel like I’m on an island anyway and I don’t like feeling alone and ashamed. Any suggestions?
Sounds like the world of sexual fantasy began as a good thing and has gone one step too far. Now your usage of sexual fantasy has isolated you from the real world and caused you to experience a disconnect, isolated and ashamed. I strongly encourage you to pick up the phone and schedule and appointment with a professional who can help you re-align your two worlds so that you can be at peace with yourself.
Alex Caroline Robboy CAS, MSW, LCSW