Bondage

Bondage is a general term for anytime someone is restrained during sex play.

Accessory-Free Bondage

• Accessory-free bondage is any time a partner is restrained during sex play without an outside accessory (i.e. ropes or cuffs) being used.
• Examples of this may be if a partner holds another partner’s hands above their heads, pins their partner in place, or instructs a partner to hold a certain body position for a duration of time.
• For those that are interested in bondage play, this may be a good starting point before moving into play that uses accessories for restraint.

Bondage Using Cuffs

• Bondage cuffs are restraints that are available in different widths, shapes and materials; and can be used to restrain the wrists and/or ankles.
• Although cuffs are appropriate for most types of play, cuffs that secure with Velcro may not work as well for play that involves heavy struggle, as the Velcro may give. For play involving struggle, cuffs with clasps or cuffs that lock may work better.
• If discomfort is not the goal of play, players should stay away from handcuffs (even the fuzzy variety), as their material and thin width have the possibility of cutting into skin.

Bondage Using Rope

• Rope is available in a number of lengths, diameters, and colors; and can be used creatively to restrain the body in an endless number of ways.
• The more times the rope is wrapped around a body part, the less discomfort the player being restrained will feel during play.
• If tying someone up, it is a good idea to learn tying and untying proper knots before play (square knots, clove hitches, bowlines, etc) to increase ease in getting someone in and out of bondage.
• Never use rope that is thinner than ¼” in diameter. Only experienced players should utilize rope in between ¼” and 3/8.”
• Never put ropes across or around someone’s neck.
• Rope purchased at a hardware store may feel rough when first used, but can soften with conditioning and/or use. If softer rope is preferred, ropes made specifically for bondage can often be purchased at sex-toy stores or online.
• If rope isn’t accessible, household items like scarves and neckties can be used instead.
• Books and bondage websites can be helpful tools in determining proper knot technique and creative patterns for bondage.

General Bondage Safety

• Because bondage requires one player to give some level of control to another partner, a base level of trust should be established between partners before engaging in play. This can involve discussing boundaries and limits, as well as setting up a safe word before engaging in play.
• Verbal check-ins with the restrained player before and during play can be helpful to determine if restraints are too tight and/or cutting off circulation.
• In terms of actual restraint, leaving a gap that can fit 1-2 fingers in between the restraint and the players’ body will help to ensure that circulation isn’t being cut off.
• Never leave someone who is restrained alone.
• A person being restrained with their limbs above heart level should be left restrained for no longer than 20 minutes.
• Safety shears (as opposed to scissors) should be kept near the site of play in case the restrained person needs to be quickly removed from the bondage.
• If the restraints result in blood-letting, it is important to clean and sterilize equipment before using with a new partner.