agoraphilia

What is Agoraphilia?

Agoraphilia is defined as the sexual excitement that rises from having sex outdoors and in public places.  For the individual who is agoraphobic, having sex outdoors or in a public setting causes more excitement than actually displaying genitals.

People often describe agoraphilia is a sexual fetish or attraction to open or public spaces. People with agoraphilia may experience sexual arousal or gratification from being in public places or spaces that are open and exposed to others.

Agoraphilia is a relatively rare fetish and is not widely studied or understood. Some experts suggest that agoraphilia may be related to exhibitionism or other forms of sexual arousal that involve being seen or watched by others. Others suggest that agoraphilia may be linked to feelings of vulnerability or anxiety, and that the fetish may provide a sense of control or security in otherwise unpredictable or unfamiliar environments.

It’s important to note that, like all forms of sexuality, agoraphilia is a personal and private matter, and should only be explored in consensual and safe ways. If you or someone you know is struggling with agoraphilia or any other form of sexual fetish or behavior, it may be helpful to seek the guidance from a sex therapist.

Do I have agoraphilia? 

Agoraphilia is a relatively rare sexual fetish in which an individual is sexually aroused by being in public or open spaces. If you are wondering if you have agoraphilia, it may be helpful to ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do I experience sexual arousal or pleasure from being in open or public spaces?
  • Do I feel a strong desire to be seen or watched by others during sexual activity?
  • Do I fantasize about having sex in public or outdoor spaces?
  • Have I ever engaged in sexual activity in public or outdoor spaces, or would I like to do so?
  • Do thoughts of public exposure or humiliation during sex turn me on?
  • Do I find myself regularly seeking out opportunities to be in public or open spaces for sexual reasons?

If you answered yes to several of these questions, you may have agoraphilia. It’s important to remember that there is a wide range of sexual desires and behaviors that are considered normal and healthy, and that agoraphilia is a personal and private matter that should only be explored in safe, consensual ways.

To help you determine if agoraphilia is problematic, versus just something that you find yourself enjoying ask yourself the following questions:

  • Can I derive sexual pleasure from having sex indoors?
  • Can I derive sexual pleasure when I sexually please my partner?
  • Do I think about the times that I had sex with my partner that might have nothing to do with agoraphilia.
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If you are concerned about your sexual desires or behaviors, it may be helpful to speak with a qualified mental health professional or sex therapist who can help you explore your feelings and options in a supportive and non-judgmental environment.

Can agoraphilia be genetic? 

There is currently no evidence to suggest that agoraphilia, or any other form of sexual fetish or attraction, is determined by genetics alone. While there may be certain genetic factors that contribute to an individual’s sexuality, such as hormonal or neurological differences, it is likely that a combination of genetic, environmental, and cultural factors all play a role in shaping a person’s sexual desires and behaviors.

It’s important to remember that sexuality is a complex and multifaceted aspect of human experience, and that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to express one’s sexual desires, as long as all parties involved are consenting adults. If you or someone you know is struggling with agoraphilia or any other form of sexual fetish or behavior, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a qualified mental health professional or sex therapist to explore these issues further.

I’m dating someone with agoraphilia, and they asked me to have sex outdoors.  Should we have sex outdoors?

For some people having agoraphilia is a fetish, one aspect of their sexuality. For others agoraphilia is more of an addiction and is limiting.  So the real answer is it depends upon who your partner is.  Regardless of the answer, remember that it’s important to respect your partner’s boundaries and desires, and to communicate clearly about your own boundaries and preferences as well. If your partner has expressed a desire to have sex in outdoor spaces as part of their agoraphilia, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation about what that might involve and what you are and are not comfortable with.

Having sex outdoors could be really fun for the both of you.  Lots of people make the decision to have sex while on a camping trip or in a remote, unpopulated area.  It’s also important to take into account any potential legal or safety concerns that may arise from having sex in public or outdoor spaces, as well as the potential for others to witness or interfere with your activities.  Having sex in an outdoor place might be illegal and could cause you permanent damage.  Know the laws before engaging in outdoor sex.

Ultimately, the decision to have sex in outdoor spaces as part of your partner’s agoraphilia is a personal and private matter that should only be undertaken with full consent and agreement from all parties involved. We do encourage you to do your research and to learn more about this. For some people agoraphilia is healthy and completely harmless. For others, it can easily become problematic.  If you have concerns or reservations about engaging in this type of sexual activity, it may be helpful to speak with a therapist or other qualified professional to explore your feelings and options further.

Many people will decide that sex outdoors is simply too risky.  Just because sex outdoors is off limits, don’t let that stop you from enjoying the outdoors on a date.  You can still kiss, hold hands and talk dirty together.

Some outdoor date ideas

  1. Picnic in the Park: Pack a picnic basket with your favorite snacks and head to a local park. Bring a blanket to sit on and enjoy a relaxing afternoon together. In your picnic basket add a ziplock back full of intimate activities that the two of you could engage in.  For example you could write on an index card “Receive a 20 minute sensual back massage” or “feed me my food” or “my favorite sexual experience with you was” or “what turns me on the most about you is”
  2. Hiking or Nature Walk: Take a hike or a nature walk together, exploring the beauty of the great outdoors. This can be a great way to connect with nature and each other. While hiking, go out of your way to wear the skimpiest outfit possible.  Maybe pick a place that you could go swimming.  While on the walk hold hands.  Enjoy the scenic views.
  3. Beach Day: Head to the beach for a day of sun, sand, and fun. Pack a cooler with drinks and snacks, and enjoy a day of swimming, sunbathing, and building sandcastles. While swimming, assuming it’s in a remote area, or underwater where no one can see, spend some time touching each other.
  4. Outdoor Movie Night: Set up a movie screen or projector in your backyard or a local park, and enjoy a romantic movie night under the stars. Bring a large blanket and under the covers you could be suggestive in your touch.
  5. Bike Ride: Take a leisurely bike ride together, exploring local trails and parks. This is a great way to enjoy the outdoors while getting some exercise.
  6. Stargazing: Find a spot away from the city lights and spend the evening stargazing. Bring blankets, hot cocoa, and some snacks to make it a cozy and memorable experience. Stargazing can be done from the privacy of your own backyard or your own porch, often allows for more privacy for intimate touch.
  7. Kayaking or Canoeing: Rent a kayak or canoe and spend the day paddling on a nearby lake or river. This is a great way to get some exercise and enjoy the beauty of the water.
  8. Outdoor Yoga: Take a yoga class in the park or on the beach. This is a great way to connect with nature while getting some exercise and relaxation. Doing two person yoga allows for touch.  Typically the touch is not sexual, just intimate.
  9. Farmers’ Market: Visit a local farmers’ market together, and enjoy tasting new foods and shopping for fresh produce.
  10. Outdoor Concert: Attend an outdoor concert or music festival together. This is a fun way to enjoy live music while taking in the beauty of the outdoors. Concerts are a terrible place to be sexually intimate, but do allow for hand holding which can be fun.