Lubricate and Stimulate Exercise: Premature Ejaculation Treatment
Lubricate and Stimulate Exercise developed to treat premature ejaculation
(If you use lubrication while masturbating skip this tip)
Have you experienced penile hypersensitivity? Do you notice that your penis is sensitive to limited stimulation or sensations? Do you experience ejaculating when your penis is touched, rubbed, minimally inserted in the vagina, or soon after insertion? If so, start with this exercise: Lubricate and Stimulate. This technique is useful for men who experience hypersensitivity during sexual intercourse resulting in a quick ejaculatory response after penetration. You may find that the sensations that you are experiencing are overriding your mental state which then leads to you experiencing orgasm before you intend to. This technique will help you merge your mind/body experience in order for you to train your body to feel the sensations of intercourse.
Idea behind the Premature Ejaculation lubricate and stimulate technique
Masturbation and intercourse can be a very different experience…in many ways! One difference is the sensation of lubrication verses friction. Your penis responds to vibrations whether or not it is lubricated leading you to reach orgasm while masturbating without lubrication. Just think for a moment, if you masturbate without lubrication you train yourself to feel that particular sensation and are able to perhaps control it more during your one on one sessions. But what happens when you are used to feeling that controllable sensation and then shifting to an engaging and enhanced experience that includes sensations that are uncontrollable and new (such as the feeling of the vagina, anus, mouth or the natural lubricant of these parts)? You feel over excited and lose control. You just don’t have a chance to last longer because the feeling of the lubricated vagina is too much for your penis’s senses to comprehend. The Lubricate and Stimulate treatment is designed to desensitize your penis using lubrication during your masturbating experiences, not as a numbing agent but to retrain and prepare your penis to experience lubrication during sexual intercourse.
Lubricate and Masturbate Technique developed to overcome premature ejaculation
When completing the premature ejaculation lubricate and masturbate technique, you will need different forms of lubrication to help assist you when masturbating. As you are completing this exercise, you will learn to become more in tune with your body and discover sensation awareness as well as the ways in which your penis is most sensitive.
Part 1 – Finding Your Lubricant: First, you would want to use a lubricant that works best for you. There are typically four types of lubricant that you can use and one alternate use if the others are not available: water based, silicone based, oil based, and saliva. The pros in using a water based lubricant is that it is smooth and slick but it does not last as long as an oil base and you may find that over time it becomes sticky. Common water based brands are Astroglide, Maximus, KY Jelly and Wet. Silicone based lubricants are slick and smooth and also lasts longer than water based, and you can use it in the shower while maintaining some of its effectiveness. Popular brands include Eros Bodyglide, Wet Platinum, and ID Millennium. Keep in mind that oil based lubricants are great for masturbation in and out of the shower as well. One of the pros of using the oil base lubricant to masturbate is that if you do not have a store bought brand you can use the oil from your kitchen. That’s right good ol’ cooking oil will do the trick. Another form of lubricant, that you can naturally provide, is saliva. Apply your saliva directly on your penis or in your hand right before you start to masturbate. The pro about saliva is that it is an organic lubricant that is readily available allowing your moment to be uninterrupted; one con is that it does not last as long and you may have to reapply often.
Part 2 – Flaccid vs Erect Penis & Lubrication: The next part is a two part step. Try these next set of instructions with a flaccid penis during one occasion, and an erect penis during another occasion. After uncovering the best lubricant for you, apply the lubricant to your penis. Use enough to cover your penis tip to the shaft. During this step, experiment with amount of lubricant used. How do you experience the sensation with minimal lubrication as opposed to a generous amount? Which do you like better?
Part 3 – Lubricate Penis and Massage: Massage your penis and feel the sensations of the lubrication as it interacts with your penis. Also consider how the lubrication interacts with how your hand massages your penis. For example, does your penis get a better sensation when your hand is massaging it with a lot of lubrication in between or is it better when you feel a bit of friction?
Part 4 – Assessment: Try using each type of lubricant and answer these questions:
What is the difference in sensation on my penis with each lubricant? Which base do I like the best and why?
If I were going to market the different types of lubricant to improve sexual interaction when would I push the different types and why?
Part 5 – Assessment With and Without Lubrication: After masturbating to orgasm, consider the differences you experienced with and without lubrication and answer these following questions:
Did you ejaculate faster, slower, or at the same rate?
How did the lubrication influence your experience of the sensations?
Were the steps that you took to slow down your level of excitement the same with and without lubrication?
Learning How to Make Your Erection Last Longer
After trying the Lubricate and Masturbate Technique during several occasions of masturbation, practice making your erection last longer. When you feel the urge to orgasm, stop until the sensation subsides and then reengage. After practicing slowing down your ejaculation, try engaging your partner in your experience. Have your partner massage your penis with the lubricant base you like the best. Allow yourself to feel the sensations and concentrate on lasting longer. You may have to communicate to your partner to “stop” massaging when you feel you are reaching the point of no return. When doing this, concentrate on the muscles that stop you from having an orgasm so that you can eventually isolate that muscle to stop in future intercourse situations.
Assessment…tying it all together: Lastly, after you have mastered slowing down your ejaculation during manual stimulation you are ready to focus on continuing this skill of slowing down during intercourse. Once you are in a relationship and you are penetrating your partner’s vagina, anus or mouth pay close attention to the differences in the sensations. Try isolating the muscle that helped you halt your ejaculation during your manual exercise/experiment phase. Pay attention to the small successes of holding on to your erection longer. In those moments what are you doing? How did your body respond when you were concentrating on making your erection last longer? What is the impact of communication with your partner when you are about to ejaculate? What type of information do you believe your partner needs to hear so that she/he can be helpful to you? How did you communicate with your partner when telling them to slow down? What type of body language or verbal communication was useful? Is more needed? Did your partner acknowledge your communication? If so, what was that like for you? Did your partner understand your signal? How quickly did she/he respond to you?
Most people only make incremental changes. Big changes take time! Were you able to last longer and if so, by what percentage? What does it feel like to make a 2% change rather than 100% change? Did you not experience a change at all? And if so, what is the story you tell yourself about the lack of change? And how is this story helpful / harmful to your overall goal of slowing down?
If you feel that you are still experiencing trouble lasting longer, don’t be afraid to call The Center for Growth. Our sex therapists can help you identify where you are getting stuck and provide you with targeted exercises to help you develop the skills you need to last longer.