Keeping The Romance Alive

A key to any successful relationship is keeping the romance alive. People living in long term relationships have to set aside time each week to re-get-to-know their partner.  For some people this might simply be cooking a meal together, going to sleep early and for others a night out on the town.  Regardless of the activity, the key is to make time to have fun together. There is a reason the two of you decided to get together in the first place. Do not let the daily grind of life get in the way of keeping the romance alive.

From a sex therapist perspective, I tell all my couples who are interested in keeping the romance alive that  a night out on the town might be a lot of fun, but it will never get you laid. I strongly encourage the two of you to spend “quite” time in the house without expectations.  Simply creating the space were intimate conversations can lead to sex is often enough.  Engaging in the basic rituals of relaxation together is important.  This could be taking a bath together and scrubbing each other clean.  Sitting on the couch and having a glass of wine together or retiring to the bedroom before the two of you are exhausted from a long days work.  All it takes is one person planning ahead of time that they want to initiate sex for the other person to feel like the experience was natural and spontaneous and just happened.

With that being said, it’s also important to utilize a little bit of creativity in how one connects by mixing up the activities.  Breaking patterns can feel exciting, thus try the following.

  • Go to an early movie
  • Go ice skating
  • Go bowling
  • Attend a comedy club
  • Jog somewhere and then sit and watch the sun go down
  • Go on a bike ride and have a picnic lunch / dinner
  • Stroll through a new part of town
  • Learn how to shoot a gun
  • Choose a restaurant you have never been to.
  • Go to an unusual type of bar. If you are used to going to a sports bar, go to a dive. If you are used to going to a bar with exotic beers, go to a local place.  Do something different. Have an experience.
  • Hire a babysitter to take your kids out to the movies, so that you and your partner can get naked together in bed.
  • Stay home and cook a meal and rent a movie.
  • Simply scheduling relaxed time is important. The time scheduled together means turning off your cell phone, putting down work and completely focusing all of your attention on the activity at hand and on your partner. In other words, stop worrying about everything else and just enjoy the moment. Date night is a time to simply be together hassle and worry free.

Dating Ideas in Philadelphia . . .

After going on five different types of dates, talk with your partner about your reaction to it. Which type of date was best for creating emotional connection, laughter, intimacy, etc.