Cuckolding

What is cuckolding? Cuckolding is a sexual fetish involving a man who desires to watch his woman have sex and receive sexual pleasure from another man.Traditionally, cuckolding specifically references a husband observing his wife with another man. Reason being, a cuckold is defined as a husband whose wife has cheated on him. Cuckolding is an old-fashioned word, which goes back as early as the 13th century. The term can be found in a number of Shakespeare plays. This is not a threesome, or a swinger fantasy in any sort. In a true cuckolding scenario, the only role the husband plays is the observer.

Why Cuckolding? There’s a number of reasons men desire to be cuckolded. For one, cuckolding is a bit masochistic. The man gets pleasure from the mental anguish he experiences when watching someone else sexually satisfy and please his wife. Being a cuckold can bring a range of emotions and reactions: pleasure, excitement, jealousy, envy, passion, penis comparisons, performance insecurities, self doubt, the list goes on. Another reason is competition. A man may want that confirmation/proof that only he can give his wife he most sexual pleasure. Other reasons include wanting to give his wife a better or different sexual experience, whether due to performance issues, or due to having a smaller penis, or because his partner fantasizes about having sex with someone with a large penis. Men also explore this fetish because having a sexually attractive wife who is desired by others is an ego boost, and a positive reflection on them. The idea that their wife is so hot, other men want her, and the ability to “share” their hot wife and see her satisfied by someone else is arousing. Some believe there is a bisexual or homosexual curiosity for some of the cuckolds, and they turn to this outlet to explore their curiosity further. While this may be the case for a few, this is not the case for all cuckolds. These are just a number of reasons men desire a cuckolding scenario, not every reason will apply to each man.

Fantasy vs. Reality It is common for many men to desire and fantasize about cuckolding, to the point they may plan to carry out the fantasy; make plans, arrange for a sexual partner for their wife, but then back out. The reality of cuckolding and actually following through with observing someone else sexually please your wife can be scary and overwhelming. Once the opportunity is there to cross that line, it can be difficult for men to go through with it, and face the unknown of their fantasy. Just the steps of planning up to the moment (before they back out) can be sexually arousing and satisfying.

Today there are many ways men play out this fetish, other than actually being cuckolded. They explore the fetish through fantasy, whether acted out or used in the bedroom with their wife. They read, write, and share cuckolding stories on-line, and view related pornography. There are a number of forums for men and women in the cuckolding community to exchange information, receive feedback from peers, and learn more about this growing lifestyle for married couples. 

Terminology A few key words commonly used within the contemporary cuckolding lifestyle, other than a cuckold (as earlier defined), include “Hotwife,” “Bull,” “Cuckold marriage,” and “Hotwife marriage.” “Hotwife” is a newer term, referring to the married woman who is sexually active outside of her marriage, with her husband’s awareness and support. Hotwife is used proudly, implying sexual liberation, and is a compliment to how she is viewed by her husband. A “Bull” is the man who is called in for one purpose, to give and receive sexual pleasure to the hot wife.

There is a difference between a hotwife marriage and a cuckold marriage. A hotwife marriage is often focused on just the sex with a bull, and involves nothing more. A cuckold marriage goes beyond the sex and explores the emotional and mental aspects of an open marriage, in addition to the sexual aspects. Couples new to cuckolding tend to start off as a hotwife couple, and as they develop more comfort and have established trust and communication, its common for some of these coupes to move into a cuckolding marriage. Everyone is different and will have different needs and various desires when entering into the cuckolding lifestyle. A hotwife marriage may be satisfying enough for a couple, and enough to handle mentally, emotionally, and sexually. One is not better than the other, they are just different arrangements with different challenges, fitting different needs. 

If cuckolding is something you have been curious about, it’s important to discuss and explore your desires with your spouse. Like most aspects in a relationship, cuckolding requires 100% consent and participation from both spouses, as well as communication and honesty. If you find yourself stuck in where to start in your exploration of cuckolding, or you are currently exploring cuckolding and are experiencing struggles, help is available.