Skype Sex 101

Skype Sex 101: The Set-Up  This tip is written for individuals who have already decided that they would like to engage in Skype sex.  Both partners have weighed the pros and cons and discussed their own comfort with using Skype’s video-chat program to have cybersex.  Now that you have both established that you are going to have cybersex via Skype you may feel nervous, anxious, hopeful, or excited.  But most of all you can’t stop thinking about how this is going to work!  After all, bringing a computer into the bedroom was the last thing you envisioned for your sex life!  You might find yourself asking: “Am I going to like it?  Will it be as much fun as “the real thing?”  What am I going to do?  How will I know if my partner likes what I am doing?”  All of these questions may be swimming around your head despite the fact that you agreed to have cybersex with your partner.  You feel like you have had a good sex life with your partner when you have had the opportunity to be physically intimate; however, now you fear that you will not be “good” at Skype sex and are anxious to watch yourself perform through the webcam!  Well, the first step is to take a deep breath and relax!  This is not something that is meant to stress you out, Skype sex should only be a supplement to your long distance relationship–it will not fill any unmet needs or voids.  It is common to feel nervous or anxious about starting something new, this tip serves as “cybersex 101 / skype sex 101” as it provides background information on cybersex as it relates to Skype-sex, as well as technical suggestions for the program to ease your anxiety about losing your cybersex v-card.

What is cybersex and what does it have to do with Skype Sex 101? First it is important to understand what you are getting into.  So ask yourself, “What is cybersex?”  “What would this look like in my relationship?”  Cybersex sex is communicating with another person online in a sexual tone.  This is a sexualized interaction.  Cybersex includes communication sexually through any mean of Internet technology and programming: instant messaging, chatting, e-mailing, sharing pictures, Skyping, etc.  Within these programs individuals can seek people that they do not know and who remain anonymous to engage in cybersex with or individuals may seek out their partner.  Traditionally, without the use of webcams, cybersex involves a great deal of fantasy as individuals imagine their sexual interaction with the person they are communicating with.

Cybersex in text form has been around for decades; however, the increasing popularity of webcams has changed how cybersex is practiced.  The rising accessibility to webcams provides new mediums to engage in the same behavior and allows cybersex to take place visually and couples to become more intimate with one another. Skype is one such program that encompasses video-chatting as well as many different features (text, picture, file-sharing, voice calls, etc.) and allows for varying forms of intimate communication.  Partners can contact one another via Skype to chat in text or voice interactions over the Internet.  Skype’s capability to provide simultaneous video and voice connections allows one to feel as though they are really physically there with their partner.  It is not solely about the physical gratification, but is also about the intimate connection of seeing your partner, as if you were in person.

Better than traditional (land-line) phone-sex? Now you are probably wondering: “How is Skype-sex different from traditional (land-line) phone-sex?”  When a video-chat program like Skype is used, cybersex can be more engaging than phone sex.  Traditional phone-sex refers to a sexually explicit conversation between two individuals, typically while one or both individuals masturbate.  The appeal of Skype-sex is that it adds a visual component that allows them to be both emotionally and physically aroused more easily than relying solely on fantasy.  Skype sex takes away the anonymity of phone sex as you can see your partner.  Of course with the decreased anonymity you do have more risks when engaging in Skype sex than phone sex as images can be recorded and shared.  If you are a teacher or someone running for political office Skype sex might not be for you as you are always at risk of having these images shared.  Ideally Skype sex should take place with two totally committed, safe people, to minimize the risk of public exposure.  If you and your partner are willing to take the risk there are many things that you can do to get your computer ready for cybersex.

Checking settings to enhance the mood!No one wants to have their evening of cybersex ruined by technical difficulties!  Therefore it is important to take the necessary steps before you get into the act.  First of all it is important to remember that this isn’t your usual romantic encounter that will be met with a warm embrace.  Instead you need to take precautions to set the “stage.”  You will need a well light room so your partner will be able to see you through the camera.  Additionally you will need to be in a non-cluttered area as too many objects can limit the cameras visibility.

Additionally, if you are using a laptop it is crucial that your computer is plugged into a power cord because Skype requires a lot of battery power.  You should also take into consideration other technical settings to keep your sexy Skype rendezvous running smooth.  Make sure to adjust your computer’s sleep time and screen saver display.  Also, when you are video chatting with your partner keep in mind what, if anything, you find distracting about the video display.  Your image will be in the bottom left hand corner of the screen.  If you find this is too distracting, and you can’t stop staring at yourself, you can move it!  Simply drag your cursor to your image and click and drag the image where you would find it less distracting.  It is also helpful to initially make the screen full-screen so you do not need to adjust the screen size in the middle of the act.  Make sure all of your computers up-dates are complete and that you are using the latest version of Skype to avoid an unexpected errors or pop-ups that will cause you to be frustrated when you are interrupted!  If you have completed all of these setting checks you are in business!  Now you have minimized your risk of running into a technological glitch that could ruin the mood.  You also understand what cybersex is about and can make an informed decision to video-chat or strictly use the voice over call via the Internet.  Remember, there is nothing inherently safe about Skype sex so it is imperative that you are cognizant of the risk you are taking.

Now that you are comfortable and knowledgeable about Skype you are ready to go!But now what are you going to say?