Traditional Monogamy

Written by: Alex Caroline Robboy, CAS, MSW, LCSW, Founder

Counseling and Therapy in Philadelphia, Ocean City, Mechanicsville, Santa Fe

Traditional monogamy is when two people who have never been romantically or sexually involved with anyone else previously remain sexually/romantically faithful to one another over the course of a lifetime.

In a traditional monogamous relationship, there are typically two people involved. These two individuals enter into a commitment to be sexually and romantically exclusive with one another, and they typically work together to build a long-term, life-long relationship. This is the most common form of romantic relationship in Western cultures, and is often considered the “default” or “normal” type of relationship.

Possible Benefits to Traditional Monogamy

  • The following non-exhaustive list provides possible benefits to choosing traditional monogamy:
  • There can be no comparisons to former sexual/romantic partners because neither partner has one.
  • If both partners remain faithful, there is little risk of experiencing jealousy over outside partners or romantic interests.
  • Choosing traditional monogamy allows compliance with ideals set forth by various systems of belief (i.e. religion or cultural norms).
  • When both partners remain faithful, STI risk is greatly reduced* or eliminated.
  • The experience of being with someone for a long period of time provides unique insight into love and partnership.
  • Learning creative ways to negotiate and fulfill romantic/sexual needs over the course of a lifetime.

Possible Challenges to Traditional Monogamy The following non-exhaustive list provides possible challenges those choosing traditional monogamy:

  • Regret over not having experienced sex or romance with anyone but one’s partner.
  • If traditional monogamy is a part of a value system, one may feel pressured or be required to stay with a partner despite feelings of unhappiness or dissatisfaction with the relationship.
  • Keeping the romantic/sexual relationship engaging throughout the course of the relationship.
  • Managing romantic or sexual feelings for people outside of the monogamous unit.
  • Misunderstanding about traditional monogamy by those outside of the relationship or those choosing other relationship styles.
  • Having sexual/romantic needs that remain unfulfilled due to differences in romantic/sexual preferences.
  • Making life decisions that involve another person.

*Some STIs can be transmitted through non-sexual means.

Sex Counseling and sex therapy are forms of mental health treatment that involve talking with a trained sexpert to address and work through emotional, psychological, and behavioral issues. Both sex counseling and sex therapy involve a client-therapist relationship where the sex therapist listens, provides feedback, and helps the client explore and understand their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The main difference is the length of time and the intensity of the sessions. Sex counseling is usually shorter term and solution-focused, while sex therapy is often longer-term and focuses on understanding deeper emotional issues and patterns.

Both sex counseling and sex therapy can be beneficial for a wide range of mental health conditions, such as premature ejaculation, painful sex, infertility, sexual compulsions, low sex drive, sexual orientation, gender identity and high sex drives. Sex Therapy and sex counseling can be done in individual, couples, family or group settings. Sex counseling and sex therapy can be done in person, online or over the phone. It is important to note that sex counseling and sex therapy are not one size fit all solutions, and different people may require different approaches and modalities.