Hot Sex In the Summer

Temperatures keep on climbing as the summer experiences heatwave after heatwave.  The summer heat can affect different parts of life, such as exercise, traveling to work, and AC costs.  However, high heat can also affect a person’s sex life. For instance, increased heat can cause increased sweating, which may be a turn-off for folks.  The high heat can also make it unappealing to touch another hot body. After all, sex can often make things “hot and heavy,” which may be the last thing a person wants during a heatwave.  Despite the heat’s discomfort, many people still want to have sex during the summer. Fortunately, there are several ways on how to have hot sex in the summer that’ll leave you feeling cool.  Each way, however, involves being mindful during sex. 

Have Slow, Mindful Sex

         Many people hold messages on how sex is “supposed” to be.  These unconscious messages are called sexual scripts, and come from our peers, parents, and media.  One sexual script is that sex should be hard, fast, and intense. People tend to associate these traits with passion: the ideal type of sex.  However, slow, mindful sex can also be passionate; it doesn’t have to be boring. In fact, the suggestions given in this article all involve being mindful during sexual activity.  By being mindful during sex, the person consciously focuses on their sensations. They may focus on their partner’s touch, the sounds emitted during sexual pleasure, or where on their body that they feel most aroused.  Focusing on these sensations can allow the person to be more present and more in their body during sex. It’s common for sex to become a routine, cerebral experience, but having slow, mindful sex disrupts that. 

         To have hot sex during the summer, before you have sex, talk to your partner about slowing things down.  Once there is mutual consent, take your time during the next time the two of you are having sex. If you tend to have penetrative sex, don’t rush to it.  Spend some time on massages, digital stimulation, and oral sex. Regardless of the type of sex that you’re having, here are some questions that will help you stay mindful.

  •         What do I physically feel right now?
    •   Exactly how does this feel?
  •         What are the sounds that I hear?
  •         Where do I feel pleasure right now?
  •         What is my partner’s touch like?
  •         What do I see that’s especially arousing?


Have Shower Sex

         Of course, one way to have hot sex during the summer is to have sex in front of an air conditioning unit or fan, but that’s not always available.  However, most people do have access to a shower. When trying to stay cool during sex, set your shower to a cool or tepid setting and have your partner join you.  This may initially be tricky, so remember to be slow and mindful. Not every bathtub/shower is spacious, people have different heights and sizes, and people have different levels of physical ability.  This is all true, and remember that sex can take many forms. Oral sex, hand stuff, penetration, and much more are all options. And as you read earlier, sex doesn’t have to be fast nor intense. During the first time you two attempt shower sex, take things slowly.  Slipping and falling can happen in the bathroom, so for the sake of safety, take your time with this and be mindful. Focus on the present, your sensations, as well as what brings you pleasure. It’s crucial that you are patient with finding the sexual activity and method that works for you and your partner.


Incorporate Ice Cubes

         Variety is often important in facilitating a satisfying sex life.  Simply put, sex can be boring when it becomes overly predictable. Incorporating ice cubes into your sex life spices things up, while also keeping you cool during the summer.  Once again, before doing any of these activities, make sure your partner has enthusiastic consent. After that’s established and you all are about to have sex, place a handful of ice cubes in a nearby cup or bowl.  Remember to be slow and mindful during this activity. One at a time, slowly rub the ice cube on your partner’s body. As you explore your partner’s body, ask them where the ice cube feels best. After they have given you a location, ask them how they want the ice cube rubbed against their body part.  Next, switch positions and have your partner ask the same questions.  Doing this encourages sexual communication, while also keeping the two of you cool.  As you use the ice cubes, feel free to incorporate the sexual activities that you both enjoy.  You could experiment and use ice cubes with oral sex, digital stimulation, penetration, and anything else that you can imagine.  Once again, this is also a great opportunity for sexual communication. Encourage your partner to tell you what feels good and what doesn’t, while also doing the same for them.

Turn Off the Lights and Refrigerate Lotion

Another way to have sex in the summer while keeping cool is to limit the amount of light entering your home.  During the day, close as many blinds as possible, while also keeping windows open for airflow. At night, try to use as few lights as possible.  Despite improvements in light bulb technology, lights still produce heat, which makes candles a cooler and more romantic alternative. The next time you want to have sex during a summer night, turn off all the lights and use candles to light the room.  Not only does this help with staying cool, but the dim lighting also helps with having slow, mindful sex.

Now that you have your environment prepared, you can use this following tip to stay cool.  If you’re planning to have sex at night, place a bottle of body lotion in the refrigerator during the day.  By the time the evening comes, you’ll have a cool bottle of lotion to use. Similar to the ice cube activity, have you and your partner take turns using the cold lotion to slowly caress each other’s body.  Be mindful, be slow, and be communicative. Express what feels good, as well as how you want to be touched. Encourage your partner to do the same. Doing so promotes sexual communication between the two of you, while also keeping you mindful and cool during sex.


         Sex is something that a lot of people have the desire for, regardless of high the temperature is outside.  However, sex during the summer can still be enjoyable. Slowing things down and being mindful during sex opens up several options that can leave you feeling cool.  If you’ve tried these activities and had no luck, seeing a sex therapist is always useful. Schedule an appointment with one at .