How to Find Good Porn

For several people, sex is a desire that naturally builds up over time, and some use pornography to express that sexual desire.  However, not everyone is satisfied with their pornography use; some want a better experience.  If your pornography use has become bland and you genuinely want to spice it up, here are five ways on how to find good porn.

 

What Even Is Good Porn?

Let’s properly define “good porn” before going forward.  Pornography has several, subjective definitions; however, there are still some immutable aspects of it.  Most professionals argue that pornography is material created for the primary purpose of sexual stimulation.  Additionally, it can exist in nearly any medium (e.g., books, movies, magazines, audio).  With that basic definition of pornography, what is “good porn?”  Simply put, “good” pornography is whatever the user believes it to be.  Good porn aligns with the person’s attitudes, ethics, and tastes.  It is completely subjective.  For instance, one person may believe erotic novels to be good porn, while another person may find them to be extremely boring.  Instead, they may see self-created, amateur pornography to be “good porn.”  Due to the subjective nature of this process, it will be important to first assess what you like.

 

Write Down What You Want Before Searching for Porn 

Looking for pornography before knowing what you want is a common pitfall.  It’s similar to exploring the aisles of a grocery store before deciding what you are going to make for dinner.  Essentially, experiencing a lot of choices can feel overwhelming, while also making it easy to spend time on things that you don’t actually care about.  When trying to find good porn, take a moment to write down what you even enjoy.  Whether during solo or partnered sex, think about past experiences that brought you pleasure.  Which aspects can you recreate in pornography?  Additionally, you can use time to help assess your porn preferences.  Which types of videos or stories do you tend to spend several minutes on, versus the ones that you almost instantly abandon?  If you’re worried about others finding what you write down, you can also use your phone or reflect non-verbally.  Regardless of your method, focus on what you have liked in the past, as well as porn that you want to avoid.  Here’s a quick example.

 

Likes Dislikes
+Pornography where there is clear consent -Uneven sexual pleasure
+BDSM with two women -Insulting language
+High production value -Static camera

 

After a quick assessment of what you want, look for pornography tailored to those preferences.  One way to do this is to focus on the medium of the pornography.

 

Explore Different Media of Pornography

 Pornography is a multi-billion-dollar industry that has numerous forms of media.  Pornography can be written, be in magazines, or take a manga form (i.e., Japanese-style graphic novels).  Additionally, with online pornography, there is audio-only porn, GIFs, videos, hentai, live (e.g., OnlyFans), and several more.  Each medium of pornography has its unique benefits.  Some people enjoy the interactive nature of OnlyFans, while others find audio-only porn to be more intimate.  Additionally, some porn consumers worry about sexual consent.  Fictional pornography, such as erotica and hentai (i.e., a genre of pornography with anime or manga styling), do not have this issue; no real person is having sex.  All in all, choose the medium of pornography that most aligns with your earlier list of likes and dislikes.  If you do choose a visual medium, try this next tip.

 

Find Pornography Where People Look Like You

 The messages and beliefs we have about sex do not exist in a vacuum; sexual scripts influence them.  Sexual scripts are unconscious, societal messages that dictate the “rules” for sex, such as who is allowed to do it.  This connects with race, gender, religion, mental ability, physical ability, and many other intersecting identities.  Due to this, it is easy for a person to feel guilt, shame, or ostracization when using pornography.  Fortunately, normalization, validation, and empowerment can occur when a person views pornography where the people in it look like them.  For instance, a black, queer woman seeing another engage in BDSM can feel affirming.  It can send the message that, “Yes, people like us have sex, and yes, it’s okay for someone like you to use porn.”  To be clear, certain body shapes, sizes, and colors may be harder to find within mainstream pornography.  Putting in the extra effort can be extremely beneficial, however.  Seeing people similar to one in pornography can be a form of permission granting, especially if one is part of a sexually marginalized group.  This is simply one reason why the people in pornography are important.

 

Search for Performers and Creators, Not Just Porn

Once again, pornography is a prolific sexual tool with numerous forms of media and millennia worth of content.  Due to this, it can be advantageous to focus on the performers and creators in pornography, not just the porn itself.  As discussed earlier, the people in porn matter a lot.  Whether it’s their attractiveness, charisma, or ability to provide normalization, a performer can be the difference between a dissatisfying porn experience and an enjoyable one.  Additionally, porn directors vary in technique, style, and presentation.  On a deeper level, this involves framing clear consent, feminist messages, and signs of safety. 

Ultimately, finding pornography that aligns with your preferences will be easier if you focus on the people creating and starring in the pornography.  To find these people, try online spaces such as Twitter, reddit, avn.com, or femaleporndirectors.com.  Additionally, the next time that you experience an especially satisfying video or written work, focus on who produced and starred in it.  Look for more of their work to guide your porn exploration.

 

Pay for Pornography

 The last way to find good porn may not be the most satisfying; however, it may be the most important.  If possible, pay for your pornography.  Understandably, free pornography is easier to find and more accessible.  Though great free content exists, paid content opens more doors for quality pornography, while also supporting the people who created your preferred content.  Simply put, porn creators don’t have to appeal to mainstream trends when they have the security of payment.  This allows you to continue to find pornography that fit your specific preferences, as well as your ethics.

 

Pornography can be similar to cooking a meal.  The time and effort that you put into the process often reflects your experience.  For example, you can put a frozen pizza in the oven, but having such a meal can quickly feel dissatisfying over time.  Additionally, buying and preparing each ingredient can encourage mindfulness, which often increases the quality of the experience.  Pornography is very similar in that regard.  To spice up your porn experience, engage in these five ways to find good porn.  Know what you want before looking for it, explore different forms of media, find people who look like you, focus on performers and creators, and pay for pornography.  If you’re still having issues with finding pornography that’s good for you, try speaking with a professional sex therapist.  Go to thecenterforgrowth.com to find one that’s the right fit for you.