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Stimulating the anus: A Guide for A Woman Receiving

Stimulating the anus: A Guide for A Woman Receiving stimulating the anus means to use a tongue and/or fingers around and inside the anus for pleasure. Some women feel scared and insecure when a partner wants to do this to them. Some are not sure what to expect, and are worried they will be judged negatively. It equates to the way some girls felt the first time someone performed oral sex on them. They report feeling nervous at the time, wondering if their bodies were normal, and how the person would react. Many women feel similarly about their anuses. Be sure that the person you do this with for the first time is someone that you trust.

It is important for a woman who has never had a partner pleasure her anus to know more about it in order to decide if she wants to try it or not. If it is a new idea to you, your initial reaction might be, “what?? Absolutely not!” If after reading this article you still do not want to try it, you shouldn’t. There is nothing wrong with disliking the idea and never doing it. But, if you have questions and curiosities about doing it, this article should help.

It is important to know your own anal area so you don’t have to wonder what your partner will see, feel, and/or smell. Find a mirror—a full length works best—and bend slightly with your buttocks facing the mirror. Do not bend too far; it is not necessary and you could hurt your back. Turn your head toward the mirror so you can see yourself, and use your hands to spread open your buttocks, exposing your anus. If you cannot see it in the mirror, you may have to spread your buttocks wider. Take a look at your anal area. It may look rough or smooth, or a combination of both. It may look a little lumpy too. This is all normal. If at this point, you feel comfortable with your anus, good work! For the rest of you, we have more work to do to ease your anxiety.

Now that you know what your anus looks like, you should go to the Internet and look at other people’s anuses. Go to a picture porn site (many are free), not a video porn site, and either type, “anal sex,” in the search box, or go to a category called, “anal sex,” if one exists. You may have to type in terms such as ass or butt. Take a look! It is best to go to a porn site instead of a search engine because search engines will show you articles about health issues in the anal region. You have a healthy anus and should compare yours to other healthy anuses. If you have any health concerns you should always contact your doctor, not try to diagnose yourself via the Internet.

Now that you have seen plenty of anuses, hopefully you are comfortable with the way your anus looks. It’s time to find out how it feels. You should go back to the mirror, and again, view your anus. Then move a finger to it and move that finger in circular motions around the outside of the anus. You can go in either direction. It may feel rough or smooth. Now insert your finger into your anus. You can put it deep inside, or keep it shallow; experiment with what feels best to you. Now you know what your partner will feel.

The next issue many women fear is their smell. Yes, anal areas have a smell, just as vaginas do. If your partner stimulates your anus with his tongue, he will smell your anus. If you are curious what your anal area smells like, smell your finger after exploring the region. Keep in mind that if the person who asks to do this to you has done it before, he knows about the smell and doesn’t mind it. Don’t worry that your anus will smell bad. If you take a shower and practice good daily hygiene, your anus will smell like any other anus. If the person has not stimulated an anus before, you should talk to him about your fears. Most likely the person expects a smell. If you find that when you bring it up, he seems surprised at the idea that there might be an odor, you might suggest he put his finger around and in his own anus and then smell it. If he doesn’t mind the odor, he won’t mind yours either. If he does, he might decide he only wants to stimulate your anus with his fingers. Don’t take it personally; some people are more sensitive to smells than others. Plus, he disliked his own smell, not yours.

If your partner decides he does not want to do this anymore, after smelling his anus, but you now want him to—now that you are so comfortable with the idea—you will need to communicate with each other. For the moment, I will proceed with the assumption that he still wants to do this.

You now know what your ass looks like, feels like, and smells like. You may still feel anxious about how it will happen: what he will do, how he will do it, etc. It’s time to go back to your Internet, but this time go to a video porn site (many are free). Search for anything relating to your anus/anal region. Chose a few videos that you like, and watch a woman having her anus stimulated. Be sure to watch several videos because depending on the category of porn that you choose, you will see different techniques. For example, if you watch a video in the category, “hardcore,” you see different anal stimulation than in the category, “amateur,” or “threesomes.” It’s best to get a variety of examples.

Now you know what to expect from your partner when he or stimulates your anus—although he or will have a personal style when it comes to moving the tongue and/or fingers. You now know what your partner will see, touch, and taste, and hopefully you imagined it to be scarier than it is! If you feel comfortable now that you know what to expect and what your partner will see, feel and smell when he or goes to stimulate your anus, you may decide to try this out. It’s ok to feel nervous, it’s normal! Stimulating the anus is a new sexual door to open. You will either leave it open, or you will close it. There is nothing wrong with trying it and loving it, trying it and hating it, or deciding not to try it at all.

Watching videos and exploring your body are ways that you can feel more comfortable with your partner stimulating your anus because you can see that it’s just an anus, and a lot of people do this and love it! However, you can do more than just bend over and let him go at it, and participating may help you feel more confident and connected to your partner. Some women say they let their partner do this to them because they know it turns on, but if you’re going to let him do it, either because he wants to or because you want to try it, why not have some control? So, for starters, you can relax your anus, which will make it more pleasurable for you. To do this, clench your anus; hold it for 10 seconds, and release. You may do this naturally the first time he does this to you because you will be nervous. So pay attention to your anal muscles.

Another way to take control of yourself and your pleasure is to try fingering yourself vaginally while your partner is working on your anus. You could use a dildo or vibrator if you would like.

Having explored your anus already, you can direct him to put his finger inside, and tell him how far you like it. You can tell him to move his finger or tongue in circular motions or up and down, depending on what you liked when you tried it on yourself.

Also, you may want to ask your partner to watch porn with you, that shows anal stimulation. He can identify what he does when he sees it, giving you an even better idea of what to expect.

Trying new things sexually is a great way to further the bond between you and your partner. The worst that can happen is that you don’t enjoy it, and you don’t have to ever do it again. Whether you enjoy it or not, you will see that sexual possibilities are never-ending, and you have more experimenting to do in the future, when you are ready.

Anal Sex / Anal Stimulation

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You do not need to ever need to meet us to benefit from our collective years of wisdom in this field. Many of our ideas are written down in the form of self help tips that are free to be read by anyone on the Internet. If we are good, eventually we will have worked ourselves out of a job and you will be able to live the life you have always wanted!

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"Alex" Caroline Robboy, CAS,
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