SEX THERAPY IN PHILADELPHIA

Sex Therapist

Sexual Communication Technique

Sex Therapy in Philadelphia
written by : "Alex" Caroline Robboy, CAS, MSW, LCSW

Sexual Communication Technique: Are you and your partner good communicators in the bedroom? Complete the following exercise, and determine the answer(s) for yourself. To do this assignment, you will need two hours of uninterrupted time. This exercise is progressive. In the first stage, you and your partner will be giving each other back massages. The purpose of starting with a back massage is that lovers tend to feel more comfortable talking about it, than they do with sex.

The first stage – a back massage:
Each type of back massage is broken down into five minute sections. Please follow each step, and follow all the rules.

  • Five minutes of touching your partner in whatever way turns you on: for the purposes of this exercise, it’s OK if your partner hates it. The goal is to touch your partner for selfish reasons. The receiving partner must be completely silent.
  • Five minutes of touching your partner in whatever way you think will turn him/her on: let your past sexual experiences with this person guide your style. The receiving partner must be completely silent.
  • Five minutes of the Moan-Groan Game: If your partner is enjoying your style of touch, he/she needs to moan or groan. The louder the noise, the more he/she is enjoying it. If your partner is uncomfortable moaning or groaning, encourage your partner to moo like a cow, or cluck like a chicken. Allow yourself to laugh. The point of this exercise is to get comfortable using sounds as a form of communication. If noise makes you or your partner laugh, consider yourself lucky! A key component to having good sex is having the ability to laugh in bed.
  • Five minutes of the Movement Game: The giver should try to please the receiver in bed. If the receiver is enjoying the touch, then he/she should use his/her body to try to communicate the positive reactions. For example, if the touch is too hard, the receiver should try to shift his/her body away from the touch. Throughout this section of the massage, the receiver must be completely silent.
  • Five minutes of guided touch: The receiver should use her/his hands to try to guide the givers hands. For example, if the woman is giving a hand job, the guy should take his hands and put it over the woman’s hands to try to show her how he likes a hand job. Again, the receiver is not allowed to user his/her voice. She/he must be completely silent.
  • Five minutes of verbal directions. The receiver should direct the giver for the next five minutes to touch her/him any way that feels good.

After you have completed this exercise, switch roles. The giver becomes the receiver, and the receiver becomes the giver.

Once each person has had the opportunity to give and to receive, answer the following questions

  • Did you prefer being the giver or the receiver and why?
  • When did you get the best feedback?
  • When was your partner most responsive to your feedback?
  • What was your partner’s favorite type(s) of touch?
  • What was your partner’s least favorite types of touch?

Repeat this exercise three times. The purpose of repeating this exercise three times is because peoples likes and dislikes change depending upon their mood. By doing it several times, you will gain a better appreciation for your partners likes and dislikes. Furthermore, you will hone your communication skills.

Golden Rules of this Communication Exercise
  • If the person gets close to orgasm, stop, and let the person ‘cool off.’
  • Wait at least two hours after completing exercise to engage in intercourse.
  • Practice, practice and more practice. Have fun with it.
Advanced Stages
  • Stage Two: repeat the exercise giving a full back massage.
  • Stage Three: repeat the exercise giving a full front massage – no nipples or genitals.
  • Stage Four: repeat the exercise focusing on the chest. Hint: do not focus on the nipples. 35 minutes of pure nipple stimulation will turn most people off.
  • Stage Five: repeat the exercise focusing on manual stimulation (hand job / digital stimulation).
  • Stage Six: repeat the exercise focusing on oral stimulation of the genitals.
  • Stage Seven: repeat the exercise while engaging in intercourse. Instead of having a Giver / Receiver, imagine one person being in control, and the other person being a passive recipient.

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Communication Topics

  • Communication Skills CS
  • Sexual Communication SCS

    • Improving Sexual Performance
    Sexual techniques (T)

    Founder of Sex Therapy
    in Philadelphia

    "Alex" Caroline Robboy, CAS,
    ACSW, LCSW

    To schedule an appointment, please call: 267 - 324 - 9564

    If you live in Center City Philadelphia and the surrounding regions, including the Main Line, Montgomery County, Bucks County, Chestery County, Cherry Hill and Southern New Jersey area and want to schedule an appointment for individual therapy, couples therapy, marriage counseling, sex therapy, family therapy or play therapy call (267) 324-9564.

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