Receiving Cunnilingus

Receiving Cunnilingus: first and foremost focus on yourself.  Your partner has made the decision to give.  Thus your job in the moment is to become the best taker possible.  Take a deep breath and focus on

  • Being loved by your partner
  • Being the object of your partner’s attention
  • Remind yourself he or she is touching you not because you taste great but he or she enjoys giving pleasure. Their pleasure comes from the act of giving.
  • Focus on the sensations coursing through your body.
  • Allow your brain to shut down, and give your body to respond in others ways beyond words
  • Give yourself permission to make noise, grunt, groan, scream, heavy breathing.  Sound not only a good communicator to a partner, but actually helps to release energy — thus intensifying the sensations.
  • Focus on breathing with your partner / and your own body.  Similar to working out, proper breathe work allows you to stretch just a little further, lift a little more weight and in this case can actually push you closer to orgasm.
  • Focus on relaxing your body and letting your body respond to the sensations.  Move your hips, legs and arms as your feel appropriate.

To further intensify your experience of receiving cunnilingus

  • Engage in kegels the entire time.  Erections are all about blood flow, and doing kegels gets the blood flowing.
  • Do circles with your pelvic floor muscles.  By shifting the pelvic floor you can change the intensity of your partner’s touch.
  • Squeeze your inner thighs together, while relaxing your knees. This will help to tighten your vaginal canal, and thus increase your own sexual pleasure.

When asked, provide your partner with ideas about ways you might want to be receiving cunnilingus. Ask your partner to get experimental.

  • Ask your partner to write the alphabet in script on your clitoris.  Let your partner know which letters turned you on the most and why.
  • Ask your partner to go as slow / fast as he or she can
  • Ask your partner to move slight to the left / right
  • Ask your partner to increase / decrease the pressure
  • Ask your partner to suck harder / softer on your clit
  • Experiment with different types of lubricant, which kind feels better and why

Remember if the touch feels good, tell your partner. If there are certain things you like, communicate the ideas with your partner. Your only job is to offer honest feedback. Remember, no one gives oral sex because it tastes good. People give oral sex because they a) want to make you feel good and b) they enjoy being in control. They derive pleasure from being in control of your body. Thus, feedback helps to teach them how to be in control of your body.

This tip was developed for Sex Therapy in Philadelphia / Center for Growth.  The tip is based out of the work that I do with my clients at this organization.  If you are struggling with receiving cunnilingus do not hesitate to share with tip with your lover and / or call today to schedule an evaluation with me or one of sex therapists.