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Pleasuring a Woman
in Philadelphia
Women, like men are all different. Some like
it hard, some like it soft. Some
women need emotional connection, while others like emotional distance.
Thus, there is no 'one' right way. Each
person is different. Thus, the best
way to learn how to pleasure a woman is talk with her.
Find out what likes, wants and needs. Some women enjoy using dildos,
others prefer vibrators, while some have never even tried.
You partner is the best guide for learning about how to please her
because she really the only one who knows how she feels.
I realize that this idea of talking at first may feel awkward, however,
with practice communication becomes easier.
Given that many people feel uncomfortable
talking about sex, it is likely that direct questions could be met with vague
responses. Do not despair. Vague
responses are to be expected. Thus,
as the learner, you will need to develop some better skills at seeking the type
of information that you need. For example, you could begin by asking your
partner the following questions:
§
What part of sexual play (kissing, masturbating, hand holding,
oral sex, intercourse . . . ) do
you find the most arousing?
§
What types of kissing do you prefer a) wet, b) dry, c) lots of
tongue, d) lip pulling or e) tongue sucking?
§
Would you describe yourself as more genitally focused or
emotionally focused?
§
What types of touch scare you?
§
What types of touch excite you?
§
What do I do that most excites you?
§
What types of things are you open to experimenting with? How will
I know when you are ready to try?
§
What is the one thing you will never try? (ie. oral sex,
masturbation, wearing lingerie, anal sex, dental dams)
§
What is your sexual fantasy? Is this fantasy something that you
would like to have happen?
§
What is the one thing you like best about our sexual relationship?
§
What is the one thing that you would like me to know?
Another line of questioning entails
what I call the “A / B game”. To
play the A/B game after each type of touch, ask your partner if she prefers the
stimulation from choice A or choice B better. For example, choice A could be
rapidly licking your partners clitoris, while choice B could be rubbing your
partner’s clitoris with your finger. Whichever
choice your partner prefers then becomes choice A.
Choice B will then be a different type of touch. For example, it could be
you slowly rubbing your partner’s clitoris with your tongue. The A/B game
works very well because it tends to be much easier for a person to say which
type of touch they like better, then to have to actually name something in
particular.
Types of stimulation that you could try to
use for stimulating your partner’s genitals
§
Pulling your partner’s genitals outer lips
§
Pulling your partner’s genitals inner lips
§
Sucking on your partner’s genitals inner / outer lips / clitoris
§
Licking on your partner’s genitals inner / outer lips / clitoris
§
Nibbling on your partner’s genitals inner / outer lips /
clitoris
§
Caressing on your partner’s genitals inner / outer lips /
clitoris
§
Using a vibrator / dildo and your mouth at the same time
§
Using a vibrator / dildo and your hands at the same time
§
Rubbing a dildo / vibrator along your partners inner thighs
§
Placing a blindfold on your partner while you repeat all the above
ideas
All of the above types of stimulation can
also be used to stimulate her breasts, her finger tips, inner thighs . . . .
If
you are still having difficulty mastering the art of pleasuring your partner and
you are feeling a little frisky, try asking her if you can observe her
masturbate. Then ask her if you can observe her masturbate with sex toys.
Sometimes watching a your girlfriends technique can give you some better
pointers than just verbal explanations. Once you think you have gotten the hang
of what she is doing, try joining in on her fun. Maybe add some tongue
stimulation as she touches herself, or hold the vibrator as she stimulates her
clitoris. Another way to learn
about your partner’s body is to ask your partner to guide your hands with
hers. Having her guide your hands may help her to better “explain” what
types of touch feel
Improving Sexual
Performance
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Sexual techniques
(T)
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sex tips (ST)
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