SEX THERAPY IN PHILADELPHIA

Sex Therapist

How to enjoy porn with a lover & Ways to teach your lover to enjoy porn with you

Written by Staff at Sex Therapy in Philadelphia / Center for Growth, Inc

If you have a sexual addiction, this tip is not for you. Porn can make your sexual addiction worse. Encouraging your partner to use porn with you is destructive. If you have questions about sex addiction, we recommend the following tips:What is a sex addiction?, Defining the problem,Do I have a high sex drive or a sexual addiction?,Sex addiction quiz?,Is my partner a sex addict?, Obstacles and coping skills for sexual addiction Do I really want to recover from sexual addiction, Therapy for sex addictions (TSA)

What is Pornography? Pornography is perceived to be material that is explicit and sexual in nature. This can occur in print (books and magazines), video, Internet or via phone. Within a couple dynamic, many different experiences with pornography can occur. Some couples enjoy viewing pornography together, some individuals watch it alone (with or without the consent of their partner) and others don’t watch it at all.

If your partner enjoys porn:

  • find out what type of porn she/he enjoys and surprise her / him with it
  • go to a porn shop together and pick out some porn together
  • create your own porn, dress up (or maybe dress down) and pose for your partner
  • try replicating the sexual moves with your partner in real time as you watch the couple on the video screen
  • try telephone sex with your lover
  • after watching a film together, assume one of the characters personalities and put the moves on your lover Remember to always share with your lover what viewing porn with them means to you. Specifically, try to answer how viewing porn with them enhances your experiences. How does porn encourage sexual intimacy between you and your partner? If you find yourself thinking that sex is better, because you are more turned on by the people in the pictures, then you are from your lover, something is wrong. To handle this issue – is a whole different tip.

    • If your partner is resistant to enjoying porn with you, the first step would be to find out what they are specifically objecting to? Do they not enjoy looking at sexually explicit images or watching other people have sex? Do they find it demeaning or over-stimulating? Do they find the activities or the behaviors uncomfortable to view? Does it make them question their own abilities or do they feel hurt/concerned that you find stimulation outside of the relationship. A discussion might help you and your partner figure out the origin of the resistance and where the compromise can occur. If your partner has never viewed pornographic videos or books, then an activity that you may find helpful is to construct fantasies together. This is an activity that can help the two of you determine what turns the both of you. You can connect your fantasies to the erotic images you find appealing in porn. This could help to assure your partner that a comparison is not occurring but more importantly a search for ways to enhance your sexual experiences together is occurring. This could be a way to ease your partner into viewing porn with you while gaining some insight as to what to expect. If your partner is embarrassed with the concept of enjoying porn with you, maybe it would be easier to read or watch it alone. This would provide your partner with an opportunity to experience it without concern of your reactions or theirs. Realistically it may take more than one experience, or possibly exposure to multiple types of porn to find their comfort and appreciation of what you enjoy. Another possible reality is they may never find the appreciation in pornography that you and if this is the case then it will prompt you to have another conversation with your partner to determine what possibilities of compromise exist for you.

    Healthy use of porn with a lover will help you:
  • Learn more about your desire and the desire of your partner
  • Develop knew sexual ideas for yourself and your lover
  • To get turned on and engage in intimate sexual experiences

    • Improving Sexual Performance

    Sexual techniques (T)

    Bringing the romance back (R)

    How to use touch to get the most out of sex, (Touch)

    Sexual Communication Topics

    Talk, talk, talk, talk that’s all you want to do!

    Sensate Exercise

    Mindful Sex: A Guide to Becoming Sexually Present

    How to approach sex

    How to use touch to get the most out of sex

    Sexuality Concerns

    Erection difficulties ED
    Fertility problems FP
    Impotence IMP
    Orgasm Difficulties Org
    Painful intercourse PI
    Painful vaginal spasms PVS
    Pregnancy Problems P
    Premature ejaculation PE
    Sexual addictions SA
    Low sex drive LSD
    Sexual Orientation Confusion SOC
    Sexual Inexperience SI
    Sexually transmitted Infections (herpes) STI

    Have you experienced

    Sexual Aversion SA
    Sexual Boredom SB
    Negative Body Image NBI
    Embarrassment & Anxiety
    Depression D
    Chronic Pain
    Cheating Spouse / Infidelity
    Medical Problems MP
    Rape or Sexual Abuse RSA
    Relationship and Marital Problems RMP
    Communication Problems CP

    Founder of Sex Therapy
    in Philadelphia

    "Alex" Caroline Robboy, CAS,
    ACSW, LCSW

    To schedule an appointment, please call: 267 - 324 - 9564

    If you live in Center City Philadelphia and the surrounding regions, including the Main Line, Montgomery County, Bucks County, Chestery County, Cherry Hill and Southern New Jersey area and want to schedule an appointment for individual therapy, couples therapy, marriage counseling, sex therapy, family therapy or play therapy call (267) 324-9564.

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