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10 Week Depression Support GroupBegins9/7/8 World Wide Sex Therapist Directory Links
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Emotional changes for the couple during pregnancy In the ideal world, pregnancies would bring all couples closer together. Pregnancy is an exciting transition period in peoples lives. Unfortunately we do not live in an ideal world, and the transition to parenthood does not always go smoothly for couples. For example, if one person was not in agreement over having the baby in the first place, he/she could be resentful of the "new" role / expectations that are being thrust on him/her without his/her consent. It could be that the condom breaks and the woman becomes pregnant. While the man wants her to have an abortion because they already have several children, or he does not want any, whereas she does not believe in abortion. Then during the pregnancy, the soon to be father believes the woman has been 'selfish' and thrust him into this role that he did not want and refuses to help her out as she increasingly is dependent upon him and others in the community for help as she struggles through, nausea, weight gain, exhaustion, difficulty walking etc. Another example is that the man's expectations of pregnancy are different than his partners reality. He might equate pregnancy with being sick and 'over baby' her. Conversely he may not appreciate the changes she is experiencing and how her physical and emotional needs might different on a daily basis. Similarly, a woman may not appreciate emotional changes her partner is going through. He may be worried about money, how will he support the family as she spends all her energy on incubating and initially breastfeeding this child. He might be scared about all the added responsibilities or extremely excited and unable to comprehend the woman's fear. In any of the above scenarios, intimacy often suffers between the couple as they battle out the different expectations. To illuminate each persons perspective try sitting down with your partner and answering the following questions:
Now have a discussion about the ways in which your answers were similar and different? What do the two of you need to do to allow each person to have their own unique experience while supporting the other person. Remember, particularly during pregnancy when the woman is the 'incubator' and the man at best is a support system both people will have a radically different physical experience. Difference is OK. What is important is that the two of you are able to communicate and feel closer to one another as each of you make your own unique transition to parenthood. If the two of you have difficulty discussing the changes that are taking place in your life and you are feeling disconnected from one another you may want to consider seeking professional help. |
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