The How To’s for a Dynamic Relationship
When in a relationship, we would all like to think that we contribute positively to the splendor and passion within the relationship. The concept of “keeping the mystery” alive becomes an ever challenging task after a number of years have passed and the need to reinvent or rejuvenate the love becomes increasingly more important. But that is the exact question, how does a person help to keep a relationship dynamic and not stagnant? Here are some tips that can help alleviate the routines some couples dislike.
Communication in a Dynamic Relationship
I know this is a word that frightens a lot of people but it really is quite powerful. Communicate the emotions about being in a routine and whether it fits you’re your relationship vision. Dialogue with your partner about what it means to engage in a dynamic relationship. For some people even beginning this dialogue can be a daunting task so be creative and communicate about how it would feel and what it would look like. Using “I” statements, share with your partner the needs you have to enhance or create an invigorating relationship. A simple example to this sort of dialogue may look like “I really enjoyed the time we took that long drive and ended up staying the night at that cozy bed and breakfast. It was just fun and spontaneous. I would like us to plan something similar again. What do you think about that idea?” or “I would like for us to find more time to enjoy one another, it’s hard sometimes because we both get caught up in the day to day but I feel we should make a little more of an investment in us and what we enjoy together.” You may be asking yourself “Why is this so important?” or “How do I really benefit from this?”” I” statements enable a person to take responsibility for their thoughts, actions and behaviors. If there is something that you are seeking or desiring, “I” statements permit it to be said in a way that is less offensive. These statements also provide you with an opportunity to be clear with what you are thinking or experiencing, eliminating an excessive amount of questions. If finding time to communicate is an issue, set aside 10 minutes a day to talk instead of a 30 minute talk. Every little bit helps and as you get into the habit of communicating, the easier it will become.
Be Open to New Ideas in a Dynamic Relationship
In constructing a dynamic relationship it is important to acknowledge that both partners points of view regarding what dynamic looks like is valid. Typically people do not have the exact same idea of what encompasses a dynamic relationship. For this reason, it becomes important for couples to negotiate what new ideas, behaviors, or rituals should be incorporated into the relationship. Part of the communication process, especially in the incorporation of new ideas, is ensuring that your thoughts and ideas have been comprehended by your partner. One way to identify whether your new idea has been understood is simply by asking your partner “What is your opinion about this idea?” or “What do you like about this idea? Is there any particular part you find appealing?” Their response should demonstrate their comprehension level of the idea or concept.
Let the past lead the way in a Dynamic Relationship
Remember the days when you first started dating and how every action with your partner elicited a tingle up and down your spine. While those moments cannot necessarily be relived, the feelings of fun, wonder, surprise and excitement can be rebuilt. One way to do this is to examine the ways pleasure is given and received in your relationship. Experiment with an after dinner shoulder massage or does childlike tickling make you laugh uproariously? Send an erotic text message or engage in a romantic stolen glance across a crowded room. Remember, explore and investigate the ways this occurs and then construct a list. The list is not to be shared with your partner, but instead it acts as a guide for you in engaging dynamically with your partner. By reinstituting old behaviors or trying out something new, you can add a fun and new perspective to your relationship.
If after reading this tip, you live in Philadelphia, and are still struggling do not hesitate to call us at Sex Therapy in Philadelphia / The Center for Growth and schedule an evaluation / assessment. We are here to help!