Confused Sexual Orientation
Therapy in Philadelphiawritten by : "Alex" Caroline Robboy, CAS, ACSW, LCSW
Are you confused about your sexual orientation? If so, you are not alone. Most people, who define themselves as heterosexual, at some point in their life, have sexual thoughts towards someone of the same sex. Furthermore many people who try out sexual behaviors with someone of the same sex will like it, while others will decide that they are more sexually attracted to someone of the opposite sex. Simply experimenting with someone of the same sex does not make you “gay.” Plenty of people who call themselves heterosexual, have engaged in same gendered sexual acts, and plenty of people who call themselves homosexual or lesbian have never been romantically involved with someone of the same sex. Thus, you can define your sexual orientation any way you like. All of these categories: gay, lesbian, homosexual, bi-sexual, transgendered, transsexual, pansexual are culturally prescribed labels. Feel free to define your own sexual orientation based on behaviors, or on feelings. What is important, is that you choose to live your life, in the way that feels most comfortable to you.
If you are having confusion about your sexual orientation, ask yourself, the following questions.
- Have you ever been attracted to someone of the same sex?
- On multiple occasions, have you found yourself attracted to someone of the same sex?
- Have you ever fantasized about being with someone of the same sex?
- Have you ever been sexually aroused while watching a movie where two people of the same gender have been sexual?
- Have you ever participated in a threesome?
- Have you ever been with someone of the same sex?
- Are you more at ease with people of the same gender?
Then ask yourself, how you feel about your answers?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then on a scale of 1-100 (one being completely heterosexual, and 100 being completely lesbian / homosexual) your sexual orientation is somewhere in between. Since there are no hard and fast rules about each label, feel free to chose one that makes sense to you. Remember, plenty of people who call themselves ‘gay’ have been with more lovers of the opposite sex, then their own. While many people who call themselves heterosexual, have engaged in sex with someone of the same sex, never mind threesomes.
Many people who are confused about their sexual orientation, benefit from being able to
- Experiment sexually (while using safer sex methods)
- Talking it through with a close friend
- Reading books, see the list of our recommended books.
- If you are worried about confidentiality, then I highly recommend talking with a therapist. This way, until you know what you think / feel, you do not have to worry about other people’s reactions / feelings.
Topics on Sexual Orientation
Coping with Internalized Homophobia
I Might Be Bisexual: Now What?
Coming Out to Family and Friends
Coming Out: Developing a Gay/Lesbian Support Network
Sexuality Concerns
Erection difficulties ED
Fertility problems FP
Impotence IMP
Orgasm Difficulties Org
Painful intercourse PI
Painful vaginal spasms PVS
Pregnancy Problems P
Premature ejaculation PE
Sexual addictions SA
Low sex drive LSD
Sexual Orientation Confusion SOC
Sexual Inexperience SI
Sexually transmitted Infections (herpes) STI
Have you experienced
Sexual Aversion SA
Sexual Boredom SB
Negative Body Image NBI
Embarrassment & Anxiety
Depression D
Chronic Pain
Cheating Spouse / Infidelity
Medical Problems MP
Rape or Sexual Abuse RSA
Relationship and Marital Problems RMP
Communication Problems CP
Founder of Sex Therapy
in Philadelphia
"Alex" Caroline Robboy, CAS,
ACSW, LCSW
If you live in the Philadelphia area and want to schedule an appointment call (267) 324-9564.


