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Anger Management
Therapy in Philadelphia
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Yell, scream, cry, and hit a pillow.
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Give yourself permission to be angry
and stop fighting yourself.
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Keep a journal. Write down each time
you feel angry. What triggered the thought? How long did you feel angry for?
What did you do about it and why? After a weeks worth of keeping the
journal, can you find a pattern? Some patterns are healthy, others are self
destructive?
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Channel your negative energy. Each
time you experience a wave of anger, let yourself express it through
something positive. For some it might be going to the gym and running the
energy out. After 6 months of this, you might find yourself in really good
shape. Others might do better with painting. Painting can release energy.
Others might sing, write music etc.
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Treat yourself kindly. Nurture your
body. Eat healthy foods. Take yourself out for a massage. Take a warm
bath. It is never improper to care for oneself. Treat yourself gently, the
way you would a small child.
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Focus on ways that will build your
body up, avoid the quick fix. Alcohol, and other mind-altering drugs in the
moment, might give your brain the chance to relax, but after the initial
high, the crash will bring you to a lower place.
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During the initial stages of anger,
it is common to feel overwhelmed by the mundane tasks of life. Thus, instead
of fighting your anger, frustration, irritation, embrace your need to fall
explode. Accept help when offered. Give yourself permission to not function
well, and delegate responsibilities whenever possible. Every person needs
help every once and a while, and you may even do another person a favor by
allowing him or her to assist someone in need. If no one offers help, seek
it out. It is OK to take the space you need so that you can regroup.
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Try to forgive yourself if your
anger seems turned inward. Many people experience feelings of guilt as they
review in their minds how they could have said or done things differently.
Try to accept that the past is gone forever, and focus on what you can
change for the present. Forgiveness may not be a concept for which you feel
ready. You may never feel completely ready to forgive fully, but explore the
possibilities of forgiveness, in general.
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Stop trying to model yourself after
your friends and family. No two people deal with their anger in the same
way. Not everyone will 'manage their anger well'. There is no right
or wrong way to feel angry. However, if you find yourself starting to act
towards your kids, or are hitting anyone, stop. Take a deep breathe. Pick up
the telephone and ask for help before you hurt someone you love. Help is
available.
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Remember that emotions can sometimes
feed upon themselves. Don’t push feelings down, but don’t let them carry you
away either. If you feel excessive rage or constantly irritable, contact an
objective support person immediately.
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If you feel uncomfortable talking to
friends, or you feel like you need more support than your friends can offer,
talk to a therapist.
Written by "Alex" Caroline Robboy, CAS,
MSW, ACSW, LCSW
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