SEX THERAPY IN PHILADELPHIA

Sex Therapist

Anal Sex / Anal Stimulation

Tips and tricks on anal sex and anal stimulation: throughout the world, there are many taboos against anal stimulation. Yet, despite the sexual taboos, the sexual practice continues.  Depending upon which static you read, 20%-50% of the population has dabbled in anal stimulation / anal sex. The most common reasons people report they engage in anal stimulation is because it feels good, they were curious or they wanted to please their partner.

From a biological perspective, the anus is rich with nerve endings. These nerve endings are interconnected with the main pelvic muscles. During orgasm, the pelvic muscles rhythmically contract. When first experimenting with anal stimulation, many people report feeling pain. Once relaxation techniques are applied, the pain might dissipate and turn into pleasure. Please note, not everyone will like anal sex / anal stimulation. Each person is an individual with his or her own unique likes and dislikes.

Relaxation Techniques for the person receiving anal sex / anal stimulation:

  • Relax your anal muscles. The best way to learn how to relax your anal muscles is by trying to tighten them. Clamp down on your anal muscles as hard as you can, and hold for 2 minutes. Then stop. By default your anus is relaxed. Once you have identified relaxed anal muscles, try relaxing them without first tightening them.
  • Visualize positive sensations.
  • Remind yourself that you are engaging in anal play by choice. Your partner wants to please you. She/he is having fun exploring your body and your reactions.
  • Slow your whole body down by taking deep slow breaths.

Other tips and tricks for the person receiving anal stimulation / anal sex:<

  • Urinate and defecate before engaging in sex play
  • Clean yourself well before engaging in sex play. That way you will feel clean.
  • Diet plays a major role in anal stimulation enjoyment. Those who have regular poops are more able to enjoy it. Thus, eat lots of leafy green vegetables, and fibrous foods. Foods that are highly processed are more likely to make you constipated.
  • Do kegels

Techniques for the person giving anal sex / anal stimulation:

  • Talk your partner through the breathing exercises (see above descriptions). Make sure you tell your partner that there are no time pressures. The goal is to only move forward when both people are ready.
  • You can tell when your partner has relaxed his / her anal muscles because they will feel relaxed. From a technical perspective, there are two muscle rings surrounding the anal opening, otherwise known as the sphincters. One sphincter is voluntarily controlled by the central nervous system and the other is controlled by the central nervous system. The external sphincter is the one that you can learn to relax. The internal one is automatic, much like blinking your eyes. To locate the sphincters, put your finger inside the anus and insert it a half an inch. On walls, you should be able to feel the two different muscles. They are located closely together.
  • Talk dirty / sexy. Use positive images. Distract your partner’s brain from focusing on the ‘dirty’ parts of anal play, such as the fact that you will get poop on your fingers. Use language to direct your partner’s mind to visualize his/her mind on the sensations.
  • Tell your partner that it is OK if they feel the need to poop. Your goal is to help them relax into the new sensations. If your partner is so worried about the full feeling, they may tighten up and have difficulty relaxing.
  • As you move closer to the anus, ask your partner if it feels OK? Ask for permission to keep going. Sometimes partners need an extra few minutes to catch his or her breath.
  • To penetrate the anus, start with a small finger. Cut your fingernails. You do not want to tear the lining of the anus. Use a lot of lubricant. There is no such thing as too much lubricant. Use a steady slow touch. Insert your finger straight. Pull out slowly. Repeat.
  • Go slowly. As you move about, tell your partner what you are about to do, so that he/she is mentally prepared.
  • Ask your partner to practice tightening and relaxing his/her anal muscles. Continue using one finger.
  • Move your finger in a slow circle inside the anus. Again, ask your partner for feedback. What type of touch feels most pleasurable to him/her?
  • In the beginning five minutes of anal stimulation may be more than sufficient. Getting comfortable with anal stimulation / anal sex may take weeks or even months. Sometimes a person never does. Each of us are unique and experience things differently. Your job is simply to get to know your partner better and to help him/her get the most out of sex.
  • Once you are able to use one finger on five different occasions, try two fingers.
  • Before engaging in anal sex, make sure you help ‘warm up’ your partner’s anus be using your fingers first.
  • Upon initial penetration, we recommend doggy style. The person receiving anal sex can then be in control of the speed of penetration.
  • Anal sex can be pleasurable either from the mental perspective or the physical perspectives. Ask your partner how they view it. Then get creative and build upon whatever their answers are. For example, if your partner is aroused from the dirtiness of anal sex, how can you create a dirtier image? In contrast, if your partner is disgusted by the dirtiness of anal sex, but truly enjoys the sensations, how can you help your partner focus on just the sensations?

General Guidelines for engaging in anal play / anal sex:

  • To minimize the risk of infection from bacteria from defecation, always wash your hands / genitals with soap before engaging in penile-vaginal, or hand-vaginal stimulation, hand-penile stimulation.
  • Communication is key. If you are struggling with communication, we strongly encourage the following exercise.
  • Use lots of lubrication.
  • Use condoms.
  • Test for sexually transmitted infections.
  • Just because something is liked one day, does not mean that the person is going to enjoy it the next day. Always check in with your partner.

People who live in the following areas:

Abbotsford Homes, Academy Gardens, Academyville, Alden Park Manor, Allegheny West, Andorra, Ardmore, Ashton Wooden Bridge, Bartram Village, Bella Vista, Belmont, Blue Grass, Brewey Town, Broomall, Bryn Mar, Bridgeport, Byberry, Bustleton, Byberry, Caroll Park, Cedar Grove, Cedar Park, Center City, Chinatown, Chestnut Hill, Chopersville, Claymont, Cobbs Creek, Conshocken, Crestmont Farms, Chester, Devon, Drexel Hill, East Mount Airy, East Falls, Elkins Park, Elmwood, Feltonville, Fishers, Fishtown, Fitler Square, Folcroft, Francisville, Garden Court, Germantown, Girard Estate, Gladwyne, Glenside, Glen Willow, Glenside, Grays Ferry, Jenkintown, Kensington, Haverford, Lafayette Hill, Manayunk, Mafair, Mechanicsville, Merion, Mount Airy, Narberth, Old City, Olney, Overbrook, Oxford Circle, Oxford Villiage, Lansdowne, Paoli, Pennypack Woods, Pennsport, Pennyback,Phila, Philly, Philmont, Pittville, Plymouth Meeting, Point Breeze, Poplar, Port Richmond, Powelton, Queen Village, Radnor, Rhawnhurst, Rittenhouse, Roxborough, Ryers, Saint Martins, Shawmont, Schuylkill, Sharswood, Society Hill, Somerton, Somerville, Southwest Center City, Springfield, Spring Garden, Spruce Hill, Stenton, Strawberry Mansion, Summerdale, Tabor, Tacony, Tasker Homes, Tiogoa, Torresdale, Upsal, University City, Wayne, Wayne Junction, West Conshoken, West Torresdale, West Mount Airy, West Oak Lane, Wissahickon, Wissinoming, Wister, Wharton, Whitman, Woodlyn Wynnefield, Yeadon, PA, Pennslvania, Atlantic City, Audubon, Aura, Barrington , Bayonne, Bellmawr, Berlin, Beverly, Blackwood, Bon Air, Bordentown, Bristol, Burlington, Camden, Cherry Hill, Cinnaminson, Clayton, Clementon, Collingswood, Colwick, Deer Park, Deptford, Edgewater Park , Egg Harbor Township, Evesboro, Flyant, Franklinville, Freehold , Gibbsboro, Gibbstown, Glassboro, Gloucester City, Green Bank, Haddonfield, Haddon Heights, Hammonton, Hilltop, Ivywood, Jordantown, Levittown, Linwood, Lindenwold, Lumberton, Magnolia, Mantua Grove, Maple Shade, Marlton, Mays Landing, Meadowbrook, Medford Lakes, Merchantville, Moorestown, Morganvi, Mt. Ephraim, Morris, Mt. Holly, Mt. Laurel, Mount Laurel, Mullica Hill, Oak Shade, Oaklyn, Ocean City, Palmyra, Parry, Pemberton, Penns Grover, Pennsauken, Pitman, Princeton, Ramblewood, Red Lion, Riverside, Riverton, Robbinsville, Runnemede, Sewell. Springdale, Stanwick, Stratford, Swedesboro, Tavistock, Trenton, Ventor, Verga, Vorhees, Wenonah, West Berlin, West Moorestown, Westampton, Westcotville, Westville, Williamstown, Woodbury, Woodlynne, Woodlands, NJ, New Jersey, N.J., Arden, Ardentown, Amstrong, Big Oak Corners, Bear, Bellafonte, Bethal, Bethesda, Blackiston, Brickstore, Bookside, Carrcroft, Centerville, Chambersville, Cheswold, Claymont, Collins Park, Corner Ketch, Corbit, Delaware City, Dover, Eastburn Heights, Elsmere, Fairfax, Felmings Landing, Fieldsboro, Hartley, Hedgeville, Hockessin, Holloway Terrace, Kenton, Kirkwood, Keeney, Little Acre, Leipsic, Magnolia, McDonough, Middletown, Millford Crossroads, Montchanin, Newcastle, Newport, Newark, Odessa, Ommelanden Range, Pleasant Hill, Point Breeze, Porter, Port Penn, Red Lion, Rybold, Saint Georges, Seeneytown, Smyrna, Stanton, Talleyville, Thorntown, Townsend, Walker, Westover Hills, Westmoreland, Wiggins Mill, Willow Grove, Wilmington, Winterthur, White Clay, Woodside, Viola, Yorklyn, Delaware, DE.,

May benefit from our services:

individual counseling, couples counseling, couples therapy, marriage counseling, marriage therapy, family therapy, family counseling, sex therapy, grief therapy, anger management therapy, addiction counseling, couples workshops, enrichment seminars, support groups, skills building classes, classes.. Mental health therapists may be marriage and family therapists, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, counseling practitioners just to name a few. If you have enjoyed our self help tips, please let us know.

You do not need to ever need to meet us to benefit from our collective years of wisdom in this field. Many of our ideas are written down in the form of self help tips that are free to be read by anyone on the Internet. If we are good, eventually we will have worked ourselves out of a job and you will be able to live the life you have always wanted!

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Founder of Sex Therapy
in Philadelphia

"Alex" Caroline Robboy, CAS,
ACSW, LCSW

To schedule an appointment, please call: 267 - 324 - 9564

If you live in Center City Philadelphia and the surrounding regions, including the Main Line, Montgomery County, Bucks County, Chestery County, Cherry Hill and Southern New Jersey area and want to schedule an appointment for individual therapy, couples therapy, marriage counseling, sex therapy, family therapy or play therapy call (267) 324-9564.

Sex Therapy in Philadelphia
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