How to Choose a Therapist
Brought to
you by Sex Therapy in Philadelphia
How to choose a therapist: you have made an
important choice, a potentially life-changing choice: to begin
therapy (sex therapy, marriage counseling, couples counseling,
individual therapy, support groups or family therapy). But how do you find a good therapist? This document is designed to help you
choose a good therapist. There is no such thing as the best therapist – but
there is a therapist best for you.
Do Your Homework
You can learn a great deal about a therapist’s
training, experience, services, specializations, personality style
and biases before meeting him/her by doing a little
homework. By reading a therapist’s website, brochure or
book, or by
attending a therapist’s workshop, lecture or support group,
you can get a sense of whether or not you’d like to
work with him/her. Doing your research can save you time and money by
helping you determine your compatibility with a therapist before
attending and paying for a first appointment.
Personality Match
The personality match between you and your
therapist
is critical.
Research has shown that the quality of the relationship between the
client(s) and therapist greatly influences
the success of treatment. A
good personality match (or good chemistry, a trusting relationship,
"a good fit", compatibility or "clicking") can help clients feel
comfortable enough and safe enough to let go of their fears and risk
trying new behaviors.
If you’re in crisis and need to begin
treatment immediately, do not worry if you do not have the time to do
your research. Most therapists will be good enough.
If you’re currently in therapy and the
relationship doesn’t feel right to you, or if you’re
hiding important information from your therapist, bring it up in
your sessions and try to work through
it. If you can’t, do not be afraid to schedule an appointment with
another therapist. Meeting
with someone else will allow you to compare and contrast your
experiences with both so that you can decide with whom you’d rather work.
If you are choosing between two or more
therapists, ask yourself the following questions:
- Who is easier to talk to?
- Who gives you better feedback?
- Who pushes you further?
- Who seems to understand you and your
problems best?
- Who responds to you better?
- Who is better able to connect events to
larger issues?
Defining a Good Fit
You will work best with someone around whom
you feel comfortable, safe and respected. You will work hardest when
you like your therapist, respect him/her, and believe in his/her
ability to help you. In the end, finding a good fit with a therapist
is much like dating. You need to trust your intuition…if it doesn’t
feel right, it probably isn’t. If
you have difficulty trusting your gut, however,
schedule several first sessions with different therapists and then
make an informed choice.
While there is no litmus test for good
chemistry between a therapist and a client, here are questions you
can ask yourself to help determine if the fit is right for you.
Do you feel comfortable with this
therapist? Do you find yourself getting defensive, or sharing
openly? You’re looking for someone you feel safe enough with to
disclose your problems, thoughts, and feelings with total honesty --
and without feeling judged. If you’re not comfortable enough to be
truthful with your therapist, your therapist cannot help you.
Does the therapist seem
professional?
You’re looking for someone responsible and appropriate. If your
therapist forgets your appointments, dresses inappropriately, or
crosses professional boundaries,
you will want to find someone else.
Do you like the therapist’s style? You’re
looking for someone you mesh with. Is your therapist directive or
solely a sounding board, and which style do you prefer? Does your
therapist interact with you or remain silent, and which style do you
prefer? Do you think your therapist talks too much or is there room
for you to talk about what you need to?
Are you getting immediate feedback? A
good therapist will start
giving you useful feedback during the very first session. Do
not expect miracles from one session, however, as it
often it takes several sessions for a therapist to get to
know you and to fully understand your problem.
Is the therapy helping you?
You’re looking to gain insight about yourself and your behaviors,
learn new skills, and experiment with new and more productive
behaviors. If you like your therapist but don’t think the treatment
is helping -- despite your commitment and hard work -- you may want
to find someone else
Experience
When choosing a therapist, ask if he/she has
experience handling your particular problem. For example, if your
current problem is a marital problem, you should choose a therapist
who is experienced with couples work. Similarly, if your current
problem is a sexual problem, choose a therapist experienced in sex
therapy.
Cost of Treatment
Therapist’s fees can vary greatly, and you
should choose a therapist whose fee fits your budget. Therapy is a
luxury -- it is not a necessary condition of survival (in
most cases). But if you want more than to
survive, but to thrive, paying for the luxury of good treatment is
worth every penny when you emerge happier and more
fulfilled. Therapy is certainly an investment of money, but the
reward of living your best life is priceless. If you’re not sure if
you can afford to be in therapy, ask yourself if you can afford not
to be.
Office Location
The location of your therapist’s office is a
consideration. Do you want the convenience of seeing a therapist
close to home or work? Or would you prefer to see
someone across town to minimize the chance
of bumping into him/her on the street? Might it be best to see a
therapist whose office is in a different community, adding anonymity
and privacy to your experience (as well as affording you built-in
time to prepare for and reflect on your sessions during the
commute)? This is a personal choice. Take time to assess your
needs. Whatever scenario you choose, make sure you feel comfortable
in your therapist’s office.
Training
There are many different disciplines of
therapy, and one discipline isn’t inherently better or more
effective than another. Psychiatrists,
psychologists, social workers, professional counselors, and marriage
and family therapists can all practice competent therapy, so
don’t focus too much on the letters
(which will indicate academic degree and license) that appear after
a therapist’s name. Rapport, skills and experience are more
important.
There are some exceptions, of course, and your
particular needs will help direct the type of therapist you should
see. For example, if you require a psychological evaluation to
assess for ADHD or mental illness, you will need to see either a
psychologist or a psychiatrist. If you need psychotropic medication,
only psychiatrists (and other medical doctors) can prescribe. If you
are involved in a court case and
want to submit formal documentation before a judge, then
it’s important to choose a therapist at the doctorate level. Ask
a therapist before scheduling a first appointment if he/she is
qualified to address your particular issue.
Licensure
It is important that your
therapist is licensed in his/her discipline. Seeing a licensed
therapist guarantees you that his/her training and experience have
met the state’s criteria for competent practice, and that he/she has
passed a comprehensive and rigorous licensure exam. By using the
following links, you can verify that your therapist’s license is
active, and you can also find out if there are legal proceedings
filed against him/her.
All professional licenses in Pennsylvania are
issues by the Pennsylvania Department of State, Bureau of
Professional and Occupational Affairs
http://www.dos.state.pa.us/bpoa/site/default.asp
Click
on the following site
http://www.licensepa.state.pa.us/default.asp
to conduct a search of a licensed professional in Pennsylvania.
Alternatively, you can visit the Professional
Licensing Board site for each discipline by following the following
links.
State Board of Social Workers, Marriage and
Family Therapists and Professional Counselors
http://www.dos.state.pa.us/bpoa/cwp/view.asp?a=1104&q=433177
State Board of Psychology
http://www.dos.state.pa.us/bpoa/cwp/view.asp?a=1104&q=433051
State Board of Medicine (Psychiatrists)
http://www.dos.state.pa.us/bpoa/cwp/view.asp?a=1104&q=432799
Your Part of the Equation
Finally, don’t forget that you have a crucial
role in the success of your therapy. Choosing a good therapist is
important. What you do with that therapist is just as
important. Therapy is not passive. Your therapist can be the most
helpful to you when you are motivated to learn, dedicated to your
growth, and trusting of the therapeutic process. Clients who work
hard at helping themselves have the best outcomes in therapy.
Written by Tracy L. Wood M.Ed., LMFT